CZECH REPUBLIC Captain Kaberle is kicking it up a notch
3.
RUSSIA OK Nabby, that’s enough rest
4.
UNITED STATES By the power of Tortorella, not Grayskull
5.
FINLAND We need to shoot the puck more
6.
SWEDEN Henrik Lundqvist is his name, and he came to tame the Danes
7.
SWITZERLAND This time, Aebischer didn’t make a single save
8.
NORWAY Nash-ing their teeth in frustration
9.
GERMANY We couldn’t rock USA like a hurricane
10.
DENMARK Sweden was harsh on Hirsch
11.
BELARUS Even in defeat, we prefer “Belarusians,” not “Belorussians,” “Belarussians,” “Byelorussians,” or “White Russians.” Thank you for your cooperation.
12.
LATVIA He shall henceforth be known as Masalskis the Magnificent
13.
SLOVAKIA There’s a choice we’re making, we’re saving our own lives
14.
FRANCE Surrender? Never!
15.
SLOVENIA Seriously, what is this obsession with 5-1?
16.
ITALY Who’s the leader of the club that hasn’t won a game? M-I-C, K-E-Y...